Self-confidence

Self-confidence

It happens sometimes that one doubts oneself. Of its capacities, of its work, the way in which one will be able to regulate such or such problem… But when this feeling of lack of confidence in oneself takes the top, it becomes a true handicap then.
To also read our file: The self-confidence, that is learned.

To miss insurance

One should not confuse timidity and reserve. Same manner, one should not confuse apprehension and lack of insurance. It is completely normal to be stressed before an important expiry. On the other hand, when this feeling becomes insurmountable, it is that it reveals a major discomfort.

The lack of insurance often results in the fear of speaking in public, for example. According to the audience this fear differs: it is especially with work, at the school which one can test of the difficulties… but also sometimes in family, with friends or close relations. Also the feeling has not been taken with serious, has not been listened, has not just been appreciated.

Consequences

With the wire of time, a vicious circle can settle. Persuaded that one will not arrive there, one does not dare to express fear of being ridiculous or misunderstood. In front of this erased attitude, the entourage gradually takes the practice not to ask for our opinion. Result: one feels devalued because surely, if one is not solicited, it is that one is not with the height. Then there is shame, one contains oneself on oneself…

The lack of confidence in oneself can, in certain cases, to lead to a true identity crisis, and it then becomes difficult to face the daily newspaper. When it is very marked, it is not rare that one comes from there not to more assume his responsibilities for fear of failing. By not want to propose oneself, one can thus refuse a professional projection of fear of not being qualified.

Why this feeling of insecurity?

As often as regards psychology, this disorder generally finds its origins in childhood. Several factors enter of course in account, but there exists a common diagram.

Very demanding parents with their child for example, are likely to cause at his place a feeling of anxiety. The fear of not being able to satisfy them can weaken it if it feels devalued. Contrary, if it had too protective parents, it will be able to feel unable to face the difficulties of the life once adult.

To find self-confidence

To make the decision to change is of course the first stage towards a new life. But according to the cases, the road will be more or less long, more or less difficult. To change its attitude, and especially to overcome its fears, often require a work on oneself that it is not possible to only realize.

When the lack of insurance is not very marked, it is possible “to be caught in hand” all alone. After having identified his difficulties, one can start by fixing oneself, each day, of small objectives. There is necessary nevertheless to know to remain realistic, while finding the force of going beyond blocking.

One can also launch out in certain news activities which requires to expose, like the theater, the dance, the sport…

On the other hand, if the feeling of insecurity is too important, a therapy can prove to be useful. It is a long term job, but he makes it possible to include/understand the cause of faintness and thus, of being able to surmount it. The behavioral and cognitive therapies generally give good performances.

Our councils

> If you miss really insurance, do not wait until the situation becomes insurmountable to react.

> If you chose to make you help, do not hesitate to make the exercises prescribed by your therapeutist. It may be that it asks you to involve yourselves in front of a mirror for example if you have evil to speak as a public. Do it, even if you feel ridiculous at the beginning!

> Do not hesitate to speak about it around you. Perhaps your entourage was not aware that you suffer as much, and to show them that you take the things in hand can also help you to take again hair of the animal